Destroyed

Chapel today was amazing. We had a guest artist come in and he told the story of the Passion of the Christ through sand art. Each scene built upon the one before it and it was constantly shifting and changing. There was one scene that was particularly poignant for me. Right after Judas kisses Jesus, the artist threw sand all over the picture completely destroying everything he had worked to create. Sometimes I feel that is what we do with our relationship with Christ. We put so much time and energy into creating something beautiful and then in a moment of thoughtlessness we destroy everything.

The other thing that occurred to me during chapel, which had me in tears for a half hour is realizing that the cross is going to destroy me. Every Lent, for the past 4 years, has gotten harder and harder to walk. I think it is because the Cross is becoming more real to me. It's not just some historical fact, or religious story. The Cross is this imposing, powerful reality that I am slowing being crushed under the weight of its truth and glory. The thing is I'm not really scared about being destroyed, about having my whole identity swallowed up by the Cross. Part of me still struggles to maintain my independence, but that piece is becoming smaller and smaller (Praise God).